A Change In Conversation
by Ashlynn Lynx
Summary: ONESHOT. Maybe the conversation before Mark, Roger and Mimi went a little bit differrently. Set after Angel's funeral, but before Roger leaves.


Roger held the keys to his car in his hand. He'd just sold his guitar – his beautiful acoustic guitar – so that he could buy that car and get out of there. He couldn't stay on Avenue B, living every dying day above the girl that he loved so much. The girl he'd just fought with. They kept hurting each other, and each side of the couple was emotionally scarred. Mimi said she'd stop using drugs, but Roger continued to catch her shooting up when she'd had a rough day. And she swore that nothing had happened between her and Benny, between her and _any_ other man, while she'd been with Roger, but he could tell that it was a lie.

Roger just had to leave. Everything was falling apart now, or maybe the disintegration was finally becoming visible. Angel had been their glue, and now that she was gone, the whole family was beginning to disappear into themselves.

Back in the loft, Mark waited for Roger to come back. He knew he's have to stop by and grab his things before he took off for Santa Fe. He tucked his camera away underneath the pillow on his bed. Having to stare at the camera the whole time that Mark talked to him would annoy the hell out of Roger, so he decided that hiding it was for the best.

Roger pulled open the loft door in a hurry, hardly hearing Mark's quiet, "Hey, Rog."

"What do you want, Mark?" Roger asked impatiently as he shoved clothes into a old corduroy bag that Mark had given him years ago.

"I just wanted to say goodbye. And – never mind." Mark knew better than to try sympathizing with Roger. The words 'I'm sorry' were not what he wanted to hear at the moment. "Roger, you don't have to go."

Roger closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Yes, I do."

"You could stay here, make up with Mimi. I know you love her, Roger. You just need to make sure that she knows that."

Roger was trying to control his anger, but Mark wasn't helping. "Mark, I've made this decision. I'm not going to change my mind. And she doesn't care if I love her, that much I know."

"That's a lie. She loves you, too."

A tear nearly escaped from Roger's eye, but he wiped it away as he whispered, "I'm not good enough for her, Mark. That's why I have to leave."

"You know that's not tr–"

"It is true!" Roger shouted. "Why is it that she's gone back to drugs? The same reason April went back! I'm only a dream when in a dream-like state."

The door to the loft opened before either roommate could say another word. Mimi stepped through the doorway and stood there silently. "Roger..." she said softly. He could tell in her voice that she'd heard everything they'd said. She walked over towards Roger, and when she was right in front of him, she pulled him into a hug. Mimi held her love tightly and spoke to him. "I love you, Roger. And you're amazing in every way. You're _too _good for me," she said, smiling sweetly.

But Roger had been hurt one too many times. He pulled out of her embrace and stepped back. "Mimi, I'm done with this."

"But, Roger, if you'd let me just apologize, we could–"

"I don't want your apologies! I don't trust you anymore. Sorry means you'll stop, Meems," Roger said. He looked her dead in the eye. "And you _never_ stop." He picked up his bag and walked towards the door. "Bye, Mark," he called sadly as he descended the staircase.

Mark was not about to let Roger leave like this, though. He ran after him, grabbing his shoulder and spinning him around. "Don't act like you don't care, Roger. I know you better than that."

"I d–"

"Let me finish, damn it! Mimi loves you, and because she hurt you, now you have to return the action? That's not right, and that's not the Roger I know. The Roger that _I_ know – or at least, thought I knew – would have stayed here and talked this out instead of storming off on false impulse!"

"Don't preach to me," Roger shouted, "when you've never talked out a single situation in your life! You hide behind that stupid camera of yours, filming everything, and watching it later, wondering how things could have gone differently if you'd got off of your ass and lived! Don't tell me to stay out of the shadows, because that's where you've been your whole life. Living a lie in your work. You can live without family, but you could never survive without your work."

Mark was speechless. Roger's words hit even harder than Mark's were meant to.

"I might call, Mark, but don't stay up waiting for it," Roger said. "I hate the fall." His words had another meaning, though – the fall of a family. Roger wondered if he went too far when he yelled at Mark, but he pushed aside the feeling and breathed in the open air as he drove away.

And all the way to Santa Fe, he didn't look back.


End file.
